


You who saved me

by Niamidan



Series: To find my home [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Atsumu suffers, Everything is fictional, Human Trafficking, Implied Sexual Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Torture, M/M, Mentioned organ trafficking, Panic Attacks, What's new?, implied underage sexual abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-28
Updated: 2020-11-28
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:53:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27764803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Niamidan/pseuds/Niamidan
Summary: Yua sets her little hand on his cheek as if she was wiping away some imaginary tears falling from his eyes. "Why is Atsumu-san crying?" She whispers to him. She's just a kid but still, he wonders if she actually understands everything.He raises an eyebrow to indicate his confusion "I'm not crying" He says as there are no tears slipping from his eyes. She pats his head, letting her fingers thread slowly in his hair, she does this whenever he comes back. This is the first time she's done it outside of those times, he really does feel like crying.Her smile is sweet with the way her cheeks barely lift up but her lips curl just slightly. Her eyes seem to glimmer in the very limited light coming from a broken lamp in a distant corner. "Atsumu-san is crying, I don't know why but you cry a lot. Beth does too and the people in this place are crying as well. I'm not sure but Atsumu-san misses Omi-san and 'Samu-san, no?"Or alternatively, Atsumu is saved by an optimistic four-year-old too many times
Relationships: Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi
Series: To find my home [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2055426
Comments: 10
Kudos: 157





	You who saved me

He was ready to give up, maybe even kill himself just so that they wouldn't get the satisfaction of doing it themselves. He doesn't want to live knowing that they'll break him, he'd rather die. The worst would be if they sold him as a slave and only god knew how much Atsumu would rather just off himself. 

But really what other choices did he have? 

He found out the instant he woke up about the tragedy awaiting him. He saw the dead eyes of the people around him who had lost all hope of salvation. They didn't even care about his existence and most of them were just staring into space. 

He's sure that he'll become just like them if he stays here, no, he knows he will. The people who brought him here would make sure they made him just like everyone else in these cells. He wanted to throw up. 

It was cold when he went outside for a walk and maybe it had been a horrible idea to go at night. However, to Atsumu the idea that he would be attacked and brought to a human trafficking station was completely beyond him. He had too much faith in his own abilities as a man and that led him to his doom. 

It might have been because he was on a vacation in a foreign country where he knew nothing about their warnings. Tourists are often vulnerable and they fall too easily into the local's traps, _but still_ , it shouldn't have ended like this. 

He doesn't know for how long he's been asleep but the people around him all look like they're from different places. He wonders if he's even in the same country they found him. He wonders what Kiyoomi is doing right about now. 

Sakusa Kiyoomi with his overthinking and constant anxiety is sure to have figured out by now that he's missing. Even so, Atsumu's faith that he'll be found is practically non-existent. He can't really hope for anything with all these people here who look like they've gotten used to their situation. 

Why was no one looking for them? _But how could they find them_? 

He himself doesn't know where he is so how could he hope that anyone else from the outside does. It's why he contemplates that maybe killing himself is the better choice, he'll still have his pride intact. Kiyoomi will have to move on and find someone else, he'll be fine after a while. 

Despite his wishes, there's not really anything inside this cell that he could use to kill himself with. The only thing in his cell is a few sets of beds just barely enough for everyone inside if they squeezed in together. 

There are some thin blankets and worn-out pillows but nothing other than that. He's sure that the door on the wall to his left leads to the bathroom and he's not too hopeful to find anything there either. 

Plus, he's sure that the person standing guard outside of the cell is there for a reason. Maybe to prevent them from escaping? Or maybe to make sure they don't die? 

He doesn't know and he doesn't care, he thinks that maybe the situation hasn't really hit him yet because he's too calm. That's what he wants to believe but all of a sudden a young woman from inside his cell eyes him a little suspiciously. 

He stares back at her and it's not until she makes her way to him and tells him to "Calm down" that he realizes how much he's sweating. His breaths are too fast and his body is involuntarily shaking. He finally realizes that he might just die, or worse, he'll have his organs sold, or be used as a slave, he doesn't want to think about other possibilities. 

Men are not an exception to human trafficking, everyone is a victim. 

The young woman kneels down in front of him from where he is sitting to give him a harsh glare. She has a hand on his shoulder that she squeezes tightly. "Hey, newbie, relax. Try to take in a deep breath" She says in English, her voice a little rough and unfriendly. He tries to understand her in his limited English abilities. 

She might be the kindest here though because everyone else is ignoring him. He tries to follow her order and takes in a deep breath, finally when he feels like he can breathe again he looks up at her. 

She's got dark hair falling on her shoulders in tangles, her skin is a nasty pale that he thinks was originally a beautiful tanned skin. She's still glaring but sighs in relief when she notices that he's better. 

"Whe- where? " He eventually asks, his English is broken but thanks to all the movies he's watched with Kiyoomi he's a little better when it comes to understanding. He's even better than Kiyoomi himself who complained that Atsumu takes in languages like a sponge. He's never been so grateful for his abilities before. 

"A bad place," She says and her glare seems to disappear as it's replaced by a look of guilt. "You need to be strong, do what you have to do so that you'll survive. Leave pride, let go of home, don't hope. . ." She seems to hesitate with her next words but then she looks at him with the same stern expression as before. "or else you'll lose your humanity and that's the only thing you need to protect" 

He decides then and there that tears are the one thing he won't shed for as long as he's here. 

\------

He learns later that the woman's name is Beth a prisoner from Thailand. She tells him that she's been here the longest out of those they share a cell with. She explains to him that even if she tried to help them it was useless because at some point they just become empty dolls. 

When he asks her why she's the only one fine, she tells him that no one is fine- she just learned to adapt. 

He learns many things from Beth during the time he spends there. She tells him that this place usually doesn't sell their prisoners, they only lend them to rich bastards to do whatever they wish. That way they profit more, however, there are always exceptions. 

The people who don't earn enough money are taken away and no one knows where they go just that they never return. Beth lets him know that the option of being taken is probably the worst one. As they're probably dissected for organs, they get a lot of money that way. 

If Atsumu throws up after that, Beth doesn't mention it. 

He doesn't know how long he's stayed there but along the way, Beth tells him about all the big shots. He learns which ones are good attention and which ones are not, Atsumu has to swallow his pride to gain favor. 

Beth had said that his handsome face and nice body were all good traits as he would receive more customers but she also warns him about what it implies. "You attract more sadists, they'll want to break you, they like their toys strong. You're a perfect candidate" She tells him and she's absolutely right because for the time he spends there he becomes an instant favorite among the sadists. 

Beth teaches him how to please them, lets him in on what they like and what they don't. She wishes him luck whenever he gets a customer she doesn't recognize. He takes in every bit of detail she offers, he's not stupid, there's no point in fighting it, he just has to try his best to lessen the damage. Beth is strong and he needs to be like her to survive. 

It all comes tumbling down when he's lent to one sadistic woman who breaks him down completely. Atsumu has _never_ been so humiliated and degraded before despite all the people who have used him by now. 

This woman takes him apart in all his vulnerable sides and rips out the small things that he tries to protect. She finds a crack in the otherwise impenetrable walls that he's set up for himself. Her words are what causes his downfall and she's right " _Why would you fight me when you have nothing to look forward to?_ " 

Why does he fight when there's pain all over his body? He can barely walk properly after every session, too many scars littering his body, too much blood. _To protect your humanity,_ Beth had said. But he's pretty sure that he's not human anymore with the way they treat him. 

He wants to give up, to just let himself lose that last remaining thing in his body and become empty just like those others in his cell. He's seen them be taken and never to return but they had barely registered it. 

_Ah_ , he wants to be taken away too. Maybe having his orangs sold won't be too bad, at least he won't have to deal with constant pain. 

"Atsumu," He hears someone call for him but the voice is barely registered in his brain. "Atsumu!" He snaps out of it when the owner of the voice shakes him physically. He blinks and stares at Beth looking at him with worried eyes. 

"You were slipping," She says and Atsumu feels terrible for noticing the little tone of fear laced with her voice. He doesn't know what she means but gets a vague idea when she says "Don't leave me too"

He wants to cry but he doesn't because he promised he won't, he'll stand by that promise. But when he looks at Beth with her face showing a weakness he hadn't seen on her ever since he came here, he realizes he can't stay like this. 

He'll lose the fight inside him and there's only so much left of him before he too gives up. He feels bad for Beth _but the pain_ , the pain he feels both physically and mentally was just _so much_. He doesn't get to say this because the next thing he knows is their cell door opening. 

They both flinch involuntarily having been caught off guard. They turn to look as some guards throw a body into the cell. The first thought Atsumu has is that the body is small. None of them make it to move to the person laying on the ground covered in layers of fabrics. 

Deep inside himself, he's struck by fear and it wants to burst out to cause a panic attack inside him. When the guards leave, the body twitches and flip off the covers on themselves. Underneath the layers of fabrics is a small little girl with warm brown hair and similar warm eyes. 

She's got wide eyes and a small pouty mouth that smiles when she looks at him. He stares back in confusion as she crawls on all four towards him. Her white T-shirt too big on her causes it to get stuck underneath her knees as she continues to crawl. 

When she finally reaches where he and Beth are, she sits up to stare at the two of them, her smile still present. She doesn't say anything and instead just continues to look at them with a weird kind of optimism. Atsumu's gut crunches. 

He hears from beside him as Beth lets out a wet sound "Oh god, not a child" she says and it's only then that Atsumu understands what she's talking about. This wasn't the place for a kid to be. Oh damn, he wants to throw up again. 

"What's- name?" Beth manages to say but she sounds like she's on the verge of crying. The little girl just looks at them in confusion as it appeared she didn't understand English. She's got Asian features so Beth tries to talk to her in Thai but still, the girl gives no response. 

He feels Beth nudge his side with her elbow and he turns to her, finally prying his eyes away from the little girl. "Try speaking your language?" Beth asks and he doubts that this girl is Japanese. Rather he hopes she's not, it'll remind him too much of something he doesn't need to think about. 

Still, he asks for her name in Japanese, the results are instantaneous as her smile brightens. Her whole body seems to lean towards him as she brightly exclaims her name. "My name is Yua! What's your name mister?" She asks. 

He's taken aback by her cheerfulness as he's gotten used to the dull and depressing people here. Atsumu thinks that she's a breath of fresh air in this old cell, he doesn't want her here. He tells her his name anyway, she glows, even more, when he does. A foreign kind of excitement coming from her. 

He wonders if all children were this carefree and optimistic in this situation. "How old are ya?" He asks in a low voice because talking is a strain for him. She raises her fingers to count them down and finally settles to showing him four fingers. He really wants to throw up. 

"Atsumu-san has a weird Japanese?" She asks and he reckons that she's talking about his Kansai dialect. He sighs and wonders how he'll explain it to a child, he settles for going about it in a more fun way. "I talk this way because I was met by a fairy when I was younger who told me I'm very strong and gave me the gift of speaking this way so others would know when they heard me speak" 

Yua believes his dumb lie and makes a noise of excitement, her tiny hands bawling into fists to contain her energy. "I knew fairies were real!" She says and he lets out a little laugh at that, it's just a puff of air but Beth looks at him like he's grown another head. 

He turns to her with an awkward expression and a shrug.

"By the way, Yua, why are ya here?" He asks because this kid seems to have no awareness of her situation. Her smile drops just a tiny bit and her eyes are no longer on him but on the ground. 

"I don't know? Some bad men took me, but it's okay there are beds here so it must be an orphanage! But. . . you're all very big for an orphanage, my old nanny wouldn't like it. She hates big kids, but she doesn't really like small ones either" She's twirling a finger in her hair not looking at any of them. 

Atsumu feels even sicker, if it's possible, why was this kid going through all this? For what reason was it that someone like her needed to be here as if being an orphan wasn't enough. He can't let this kid get hurt, if something happens to her he'll never be able to go on. He tells Beth as much. 

"We need to protect her," He says and Beth is quiet for a few seconds until she nods. "We hide her, we take turns watching." She says and Atsumu agrees but the problem is that they aren't always there. Sometimes they get taken away at the same time, they need the others in the cell to co-operate. 

The worst problem is perhaps the guard standing beside their cell door. Atsumu notices the man keeps glancing towards them, he's looking at Yua with an expression that he can't quite decipher. He chooses to ignore him, he's seen first hand how some of the guards here can get violent. 

They've been lucky that their guard doesn't say much, he's rather tame and at times Atsumu's certain that he looks a little guilty. There's a chance they might be able to rope him into protecting Yua too. He'll do whatever he can to get him on their side, Beth will also help.

 _Leave yer pride, Atsumu_ , he thinks. This is about surviving. 

He turns to stare at Yua who is looking at him with her big eyes in curiosity, she points to his hair. "Atsumu-san why is some of your hair brown and the other blond?" She asks innocently and he's a little surprised by how well she speaks when she's just a four year old. It's not child-like at all, she pronounces all her words correctly 

His younger cousin is about the same age as her and he still stumbles on some of his words whenever he talks. Then again some kids learn things faster and maybe it's just his cousin who is the odd one. 

He grabs a strand of his hair to pull it closer to his eyes, it's gotten a lot longer lately. His brown hair is starting to replace the blond but every once in a while he gets taken for a haircut. He guesses that the owners of this place probably mean to make them more appealing to their customers. 

It makes him sick to think about how he's just used a product for their enjoyment. 

"I colored it a while ago, if ya apply a certain thing ya can make yer hair change. I got it from that fairy I told ya about." He adds a little lie to it just because he wants to see her expression light up again. It made him feel all warm whenever he saw her smile, he hadn't felt like this in a while. 

"Wahhh, Atsumu-san is so lucky to meet a fairy! I want to meet them too so I can change my hair as well. Do you think they have purple? I've seen some people walk around with green!" She sits back on her feet looking like she's imagining something in amazement. 

"Do you think they also met the fairy? Will I be able to meet them?" She asks and he lets himself smile just a little. "Yeah, I'm sure ya will, the fairy comes to everyone that wants to meet them," He says and wonders if she'll ever be able to leave here. 

She nods her head furiously "Yes! I want to meet them so much" Yua stops for a second to contemplate something until she finally looks back up at him. "But I probably won't get to see them down here, it doesn't look like you've met them for a while now," She says and her smile disappears just as the realization hits her. 

Atsumu starts to panic, he doesn't understand himself but when he sees her smile dip he feels like crying so he quickly adds "No that's not true!" His voice comes out a little too loud for his liking. Beth just stares at him weirdly from where she is sitting beside him quietly following their conversation with only their body movements. 

"I- I mean, I just haven't wanted to meet the fairy yet, I'll get ya out of here, and then I'll show you the fairy." He says and to his relief, Yua seems to believe him with her bright eyes shining happily. "Really? You will really do that for me, Atsumu-san?" She asks and he nods as an answer. 

He really shouldn't have made a promise like that but seeing her full of life made him want to preserve that innocence. She raises her pinky towards him and he unhesitatingly takes it with his own much larger one. "Pinky promise!" She giggles when she looks back up at him "Atsumu-san is the best" 

It's then that he makes the choice of doing whatever he can to get her out and if he can't he'll try to make her life a little easier for as long as he can. 

\-------

He doesn't know for how long he's stayed in this shit hole but he's sure that a few months have passed, at least if his mental calendar is right. Somehow they've been successful in hiding Yua from those people coming to search for their next target. 

The only way this was possible was because the guard he previously wanted to attempt to get on their side had joined of his own free will. The guard had slipped a little paper between his hands to show them, his front was to the camera and his back to the cell. 

Beth had been the one to read it but when she tried to get closer he had looked almost panicked so she backed away. The note from the distance they were reading had stated that he'd help to hide the child. 

At first, they were confused and neither he nor Beth trusted the guard but just before they got visited by one of the customers- the guard had discreetly warned them to hide the girl in the bathroom. They listened and successfully dodged a land mine with that. 

It became a routine for them, he would warn them in odd messages and they would quickly follow his advice. They'd been lucky that so far that both he and Beth weren't taken away at the same time, so there was always one there to look after Yua. 

Along the long run, Yua's cheerfulness had somehow affected everyone in their cell, some of the ones who had given up were now subtly watching her play.

Atsumu and Beth could make requests at times if their customers deemed them worthy of one wish. They'd taken advantage of that to bring stuff for Yua such as sweets and some small toys that wouldn't raise any suspicions. Yua was always surprised by everything they brought as she claimed that she had never gotten so much in her previous orphanage. 

Atsumu quickly understands that her orphanage hadn't been a better place as it was filled with abusive fucks who drained the kids. It's probably why these people were able to snatch Yua so easily. 

God, he wanted to give everything to this child, if he was allowed to hope that he might be able to leave this place he promised he'd buy her so much. He'd take care of her like she deserves and there wouldn't be anyone who would dare to touch her. 

He started to get really fond of her and he was aware that it was a bad thing especially with the kind of place they were at. He could lose her at any time and then he wouldn't be able to move on. But just her voice saves him whenever he has an especially difficult customer to deal with. 

The pain in his body is completely ignored in favor of hugging her and letting her presence soothe him. She'd gotten into the habit of petting his hair whenever he came back, he thinks it might be because she realized that it makes him relax a little. 

She always chooses to sleep beside him claiming that he's her favorite even if she loved Beth just as much. Perhaps it was because they shared the same language or maybe because he tells her stories of the outside world and about his twin brother. She especially loves the stories about Kiyoomi. 

"He's really pretty and he's even taller than me, he's a little prickly but ya would love him," He tells her one night with his hand around her in a protective way, but really her body heat made _him_ feel safe. 

She's playing with her hand raised in front of her face while staring at her fingers. She then turns around in his hold to look at him with those bright eyes of her "Is Omi-san not a fairy then?" She asks with her voice barely a whisper and he nearly bursts out laughing at her comment. 

The idea of seeing Kiyoomi in a fairy custom makes him snort, his boyfriend would never wear that. "Why would ya think that?" He asks curiously seeing as there was nothing implying that in their conversation. 

Yua looks him in the eyes and it's one of those rare looks she gives that makes him uncomfortable. She's calm and it's as if she can see his soul, he wouldn't doubt if she said she could. However, it makes him feel a little revealed whenever she does it. 

"You said Omi-san is pretty and that he takes care of you all the time, you always smile when you talk about him. He must be a fairy if he means that much to you" She says and Atsumu thinks he's more than just a fairy. 

Yua sets her little hand on his cheek as if she was wiping away some imaginary tears falling from his eyes. "Why is Atsumu-san crying?" She whispers to him. She's just a kid but still, he wonders if she actually understands everything. 

He raises an eyebrow to indicate his confusion "I'm not crying" He says as there are no tears slipping from his eyes. She pats his head, letting her fingers thread slowly in his hair, she does this whenever he comes back. This is the first time she's done it outside of those times, he really does feel like crying. 

Her smile is sweet with the way her cheeks barely lift up but her lips curl just slightly. Her eyes seem to glimmer in the very limited light coming from a broken lamp in a distant corner. "Atsumu-san is crying, I don't know why but you cry a lot. Beth does too and the people in this place are crying as well. I'm not sure but Atsumu-san misses Omi-san and 'Samu-san, no?" 

At times like this he hates her innocence, he hates that her words touch the deepest parts of his life that he doesn't want to see. But he loves that sweet precious and untouched innocence that reminds him of home, that lets him get a glimpse of what's waiting for him if he makes it outside. He wants to go home, he doesn't want to stay here anymore and it's slowly killing him. 

"Does Atsumu-san not like me? Do you want to leave me to go back to Omi-san?" She asks and for the first time that night, he feels like she's speaking like a child again. She's insecure and scared deep down wondering if the people who have treated her so kindly will leave her. Afraid that if these metal bars holding them inside disappear then all of them will run away without her. 

She's right to be scared though. Atsumu thinks that half of these people would probably do exactly that, they'd leave this young girl behind to save themselves. He's contemplated it himself several times, imagines if he could make a dash for it when he's with a rather weak customer. 

Each time the imaginary him stays behind to go find Yua and Beth. Each time he's enabled still with fear knowing exactly how impossible that leaving in the first place is. The one time he tried to escape in the first days he came here had earned him a punishment that still keeps him awake at night. 

He knows himself he'll never be able to attempt leaving anymore. 

"No, don't ya dare think that or ever say that again. Ya hear me Yua?" He says as sternly as possible to get his message across. "I can't live without ya anymore, if anything ever happens to ya just know that I'll go down with ya, okay? I'll never leave ya behind." Their whispers seem to echo in the silent cold cell. 

Yua's tears shine like crystals and are just as innocent as everything else about her, she sobs a little as she says "Really? I was so scared that Atsumu-san hated me" His face scrunches in annoyance and he pulls her in for a hug to comfort her little soul. 

"I could never hate ya, yer the only thing that's keeping me alive in here," He says the last bit more to himself rather than her. She wouldn't understand any of it and he wanted to make sure it stayed that way. 

He kisses the top of her head and lets her tighten her little fist around his shirt as she sobs quietly to prevent disturbing the others sleeping. He'd give this girl anything, he'd make sure she stayed happy for the rest of her life, and all he was asking for was a chance to do exactly that.

\-----

He starts to get used to his life in this horrible place, he learns to please his customers and they're generous at times with him. It benefits as it helps lighten the mood in their cell when he brings in a little extra food for everyone. 

The others who were lifeless before were now all attempting to make the best out of their situation. Yua was the only reason why they were able to see past their misery, her laughter brought light back into their eyes. 

Yua was chatty when she wanted, a curious cat who couldn't help poke around with the limited words she learned in English from Beth and him. She asked the other in the cell questions that some of them didn't understand and she had to use her body language instead. 

Her expressions were very dramatic but it successfully garnered their attention. Somehow they started to become more active and played with her at times even when they couldn't communicate. 

She got especially close with another teenager who he learned hadn't turned even 15 yet. Of course, he was aware of how young some of them were but she was by far the youngest apart from Yua. At least Yua was still safe but Narin (the teenage girl) had been here before him and he didn't want to know how long she's been here or what's happened to her. 

She was a girl from the middle east who got caught by terrorists and sold off, she doesn't remember much of her life outside of here. Atsumu really appreciates Narin because she's taken Beth and his place to stay there for Yua when they can't. 

Along with Justin (their cell guard) who continues to warn them every day. Justin starts to make more notes that he hides in his hands to show them when his back is to them. These notes give them information about his name and that he's trying to find a way to get them all out of here. 

He doesn't slip any more information and he never talks to them but his small notes seem to give everyone a little hope. Perhaps it's this build-up of things that makes them all gain some motivation to try their best to survive just another day. 

He starts to notice this familial bond with everyone else in the cell that's centered around Yua. She seems to grow into everyone's salvation and not just his. Beth continues to help everyone around her by giving them advice just like she'd done for him. 

The people in their cell start to want to learn things so that they too could contribute to the stuff brought to their cell. They become better at talking and soothing each other's pain with the remedies they gather. Whether it is emotional or physical they're all there to help relieve pain, and it makes things just slightly better. 

Having someone to talk to and help you is much better than becoming an empty doll with nothing to give or take. Of course, it doesn't change their situation and most days he comes back unable to utter a single word. They never judge him because they too know his pain. 

He eventually makes friends with those prisoners who are less welcoming and active, the ones most likely going to be taken away soon. One of them is a man maybe around his age who shares the most similar experiences with him. 

The man, Ley, is the one who approaches him first one night. Atsumu had been aware of his presence and the lingering stares he would often give him lately but had paid it no mind. That was until Ley had walked to him with a face more expressive than he had ever seen on the man before. "How do you do it?" Ley had asked. 

It took Atsumu by complete surprise and he stayed quiet as he didn't really understand what Ley meant. The other man had glared at him from where he stood above him and Yua who was leisurely drawing in her book, ignorant of the other two men. 

"I said, how do you do it?" To say Atsumu was shocked as the man grabbed his collar with anger lacing his features- would be an understatement. He didn't really get what Ley was implying at the time but hidden among the anger was something else that Atsumu was too familiar with. 

Ley was looking for something to save him. 

At the time Atsumu had just shrugged off Ley's hand with ease as the other man wasn't trying to hold onto him, he was merely acting on overwhelming feelings. He looked back down to Yua who was now staring at him with worry so he patted her head to assure her that everything was fine. 

She doesn't seem convinced so he gives her a smile that instantly brightens her mood and she goes back to her drawing. "It's her, " He had said to Ley without removing his gaze from Yua. "She's the one who lets me go through this without breaking" 

Ley dropped to the ground as his knees buckled and strength left his body. The man had threaded his hand in his hair and pulled it in a desperate manner. "I can't understand, I just can't. After going through that every day, why aren't you like me?" 

Atsumu didn't answer as he felt like the question wasn't directed at him, instead, he took Ley's hand and pulled it closer to Yua's head who was too distracted drawing. When the man's hand had finally met Yua's warm brown hair in a gentle manner, Yua had raised her big eyes to stare at the man confused by the unfamiliar touch. 

When their eyes had met she smiled and waved at Ley who she hadn't known but accepted instantly to touch her head. Atsumu had smiled to himself, glad that her reaction was exactly what he imagined. 

Ley pulled back his hand and Atsumu pretended that he didn't hear sobs coming from behind him belonging to Ley. It's after this that Ley joins their little family bond too. 

\----

"I've never had a pappa before but Atsumu-san feels like one to me anyway." Yua is smiling at him, a teddy bear resting in her arms that he had gifted her today. She's been walking around the cell happily as she played with the bear in several of her imaginary games she's thought up. 

She'd named the bear Omi-san because and he quotes 'he'll be here for me just like Omi-san is there for you'. He honestly felt his throat clog up dangerously when she said that. 

He contemplates the idea of having Yua as his daughter, she's creative and surprisingly very well mannered. She never asks for anything and is always there to comfort him whenever he feels especially down. He'd be lucky if she ever was his daughter, but he'd be lying if he didn't say he hadn't thought about it before. 

The idea of adopting her was a prominent thought in his brain, if they ever left this place that was probably the first thing he would do. He doesn't think he can live without her after all. Of course, Kiyoomi will have to agree but the time he has spent here makes him think that he can be selfish with this one thing. 

Ultimately he decides that he'll respect Kiyoomi's opinion but he'll adopt her whether he likes it or not. Still, he's sure that Kiyoomi will understand so he's not worried but he wonders if Yua will want to. 

"How would ya like it if I became yer real dad?" He asks just to satisfy his own delusions of a happy family whenever they leave here. If they ever leave, that is. 

Yua stares at him confused and her hold on the teddy bear tightens "Is that possible?" She asks and he nods eagerly. "Yeah, all it takes is some papers and ya can come live with me and Omi-omi. We'll be a family and we can-" He doesn't get to finish as she runs to him and jumps into his arms. 

"Yes! Yes! I really want that, I want to be a family with Atsumu-san. I really, really, really want that" She says and her arms are tight around his neck almost suffocating him. He laughs and lifts her up to hug her closer. _We already are,_ he thinks _._

But as all good things have to eventually come to an end he hears their cell door opening. Two men walk inside, one of the men walks into their cell and his round stomach threatens to pop the buttons of his shirt. He's smoking a pipe as he looks around their cell and when his eyes catch Yua, Atsumu's blood runs cold. 

Today their usual guard Justin was not around and had been replaced by someone else. They thought it would be okay seeing as it was probably really late today so they'd assumed no one would come by. Oh, how they were wrong. 

"Yes, that little girl will do, I want her. She'll be of good use when I take her with me" The man says and the new guard nods while he approaches where Atsumu and Yua are sitting on the bed. Atsumu is rendered completely silent, he's unable to say anything as the guard walks closer. 

The other man besides the fat one rubs his hands together and smiles in a fake manner to the man. "I'm sure you'll pay especially well seeing as she's a very young one indeed and you insisted that we sell one to you even though we don't usually do that sir." The man says with his yellow teeth glistening in the light of their cell. 

_Sell?_ Atsumu thinks, they were going to give Yua to this bastard of a man to take away from him forever? 

He's panicking and his fear of rebelling keeps him still but his even bigger fear of Yua being taken lets him swallow down the bile-producing in his throat. He kneels down in front of the guard, he's left his pride a long time ago. "Please, not her. Just not her" He begs and his whole body is shivering in fear. 

The guard's expression twists into annoyance, he's got a taser ready to use but before he gets the chance the fat man speaks again. "Wait," The man walks in their direction with his expensive stick supporting his body. 

The man holds his jaw to get a better look at his face and Atsumu hopes it's him rather than Yua. At least Yua will be safe here with Beth and maybe Justin will get them out in time before a situation like this arises again. "You're valuable but not exactly my type" The man concludes and something drops in Atsumu's stomach. 

The man sighs, "Take her anyway" he says and Atsumu is ready to protest again but suddenly hears a familiar voice speak up. They all turn around to stare at Narin who has stood up from her position in her corner. Her eyes give him a determined look before she turns to look at the old man. 

"Take me instead, I'm still underage, I'm much tamer than just a brat," She says to them with her voice not wavering for even a second. But Atsumu can see her knees shaking from where he is kneeling on the ground. 

His eyes widen when he realizes what she's doing. Oh god, she's sacrificing herself for Yua. _No, no, no, no, no it isn't supposed to be like this._

The man walks in his crooked way towards Narin to get a better look at her. Atsumu holds his breath and his thoughts are filled with prayers. Prayers of what? He's not sure but he's guilty that among the many is one that says ' _just not Yua_ '. 

It seems like that's the only one that is heard because the old man nods to himself "She'll do, take her instead" And the next thing Atsumu knows is that Narin is being dragged away by the guard and the cell door is closed. 

Narin gives him one last look and with her lips- mouths the words 'Thank you'. 

He screams and cries his heart out when they leave, the frustration that had been building up ever since he came here all comes down in a massive explosion. He curses at his fate and himself for being unable to say anything. For just staring in silence as they took a teenage girl away from just beyond his grasp. 

He doesn't know how long he stays in this hysterical state but when he comes to he notices that Yua is being held in Beth's arms. She's crying from what he can make out of her sobs and her head rested on Beth's shoulder. 

Beth doesn't look at him, she seems unable to as her own tears are flowing down her face. The others in the cell have huddled closer to where Beth is holding Yua with their own expressions of loss. 

Atsumu makes a run for the bathroom to empty his insides. 

\------

He thinks that at least a week has passed before he can feel even remotely like himself. Justin has returned to his post and if he notices Narin missing he doesn't make a comment on it. But there's a pained expression he makes when he first comes back. 

Atsumu doesn't acknowledge anyone in that week, he barely knows what's going on and it isn't until Yua seats herself in his lap with her teddy bear in hand that he finally gets a grasp of something. She's got teary eyes that aren't looking at him and she's holding Omi-san too tightly in her hold that he's afraid she might rip it apart. 

"Atsumu-san is an idiot," She says, "you promised you wouldn't leave me but Beth tells me that you're trying to leave. I don't know where or how but I know it's a bad place you're going." She finally lifts her head to look at him with her eyes filled with tears that fall down so naturally. 

He takes a notice of the circles around her eyes and the weight she's lost, suddenly he realizes that she's starting to break down and he's at fault. "Don't leave me, you promised to be my papa, and papa isn't supposed to leave me." 

Unlike the first time he met Yua where she seemed all adult-like in her speech he thinks it might be the first time she's speaking the language of a child her age. He brings her closer into a tight hug, he lets himself cry again but not a cry of frustration, he's letting himself cry in pain. Apologies slip from his lips like a mantra "I'm so sorry Yua, I'm so sorry." They cry like that in each other's arms and once again he's saved by a little girl of four years old. 

\----

Things don't get better but they try, Beth cries when she realizes that he's back from his destruction. They try to build things up again slowly, the others in the cell including Ley are all eager to be around. It was as if Narin had left them with new encouragement to preserve their strength.

It finally comes to use as Justin cracks their cell door open along with booming sounds of gunshots and people shouting things from different places. They all make a dash for it when Justin screams for them to get out, he informs them of which way to take and that there were people waiting for them outside who'd keep them safe. 

Atsumu is fast when he lifts Yua in his arms and grabs Beth's arm to make a run for it. Everyone else is just as quick to come after them and they all successfully make it outside. There, they are greeted by several paramedics and police officers. 

They're hauled inside a truck and driven away, he doesn't know where but so as long as it's far away from that place he doesn't care. Yua clings to him like a lifeline and he does the exact same to her. He can't afford to lose her. 

After what feels like hours of what becomes his life's longest event and several attempts to remove Yua from him do they finally take them to a hospital. There they still attempt to remove Yua from him in an excuse to check for injuries or diseases but Atsumu is having none of it. 

Somehow they manage to take Beth away but Atsumu flips when they so much as reach for Yua. He's growing increasingly stressed from the chaos he's thrown in and is having a panic attack, the difficulty he has in breathing makes him blind to the needle pushed into his neck. 

Too late he realizes there are black spots in his vision and Yua who is crying and screaming is no longer in his arms. 

\-----

When he wakes up he's met with white light and a room too clean for his sensitive eyes. Everything is foreign to him and he doesn't notice the presence beside him in his confusion until the person calls out to him. 

"Atsumu?" The voice is soft and gentle, Atsumu is familiar with it. 

Still, he flinches involuntarily when he hears it, he quickly twists his head to come face to face with Sakusa Kiyoomi. Since the last time he saw his boyfriend, the other had lost significant weight and his dark circles were prominent on his pale face. 

He wants to cry from seeing his familiar face but panic builds too quickly inside him when he realizes that Yua isn't here with him. He sits up too quickly and Kiyoomi seems to freak out in an instant. "Atsumu, wait, you were severely dehydrated and lacking in essential nutrients, not to mention having several severe injuries that could've gotten infected." 

Atsumu knows what he's talking about, he felt those injuries all over his body after all. Still, he can't process anything so as long as Yua isn't around. His breath comes out too short and his body starts to shiver, he can't do this, _he can't do this_. "Y-Yua-" he manages to get out.

Kiyoomi looks confused but understands quickly that something's wrong with him. "Oh god, you're having a panic attack" Kiyoomi runs outside to call for a nurse meanwhile Atsumu is fast to get rid of the needles in his hands and stand up from the hospital bed. 

He falls the instant his feet hit the ground and once again Kiyoomi is beside him ready to reach out but Atsumu recoils from his attempts. Kiyoomi doesn't try again instead opting for soothing words. 

When a nurse comes she asks Kiyoomi what happened and his boyfriend is quick to explain the situation. The nurse nods and tells another nurse who walks inside to 'get the girl'. That statement garners his attention and he gets a hold of the nurse's arm. 

His grip is tight but at the moment he can't really control himself "I need her" He tells her and the nurse nods through her pain from his grip on her. She's gentle when she speaks to him and tries to get him to breathe properly. "Don't worry Miya-san, I've sent someone to get her. They'll be back with Yua-chan. But first I need you to breathe." 

She teaches him the steps to calm down and it only works for a bit, he can't relax with Kiyoomi standing there. His boyfriend's comforting presence is now something Astumu dreads, he knew this would happen. 

His fear that Kiyoomi would reject him or find out about everything was ruining him. 

Finally after what seems like ages does he see Yua on the doorsteps and he doesn't waste a second before he has her in his arms. He can breathe again, _he can breathe_. Yua fine and that was all that mattered. 

She hugs him back just as tightly, her familiar touch on his head relaxes him and he's finally able to rest. He slumps down beside the wall with her still in his arm. He rests his head on her shoulder as she pats his hair just because he doesn't want to see anyone else in the hospital room. 

"Sorry," She says when he manages to take a look at her. Her complexion looks good, better than he has ever seen and she's wearing proper clothes that actually fit her. Her hair is tied to a ponytail much more refined than the braids he used to make for her. "I was eating but I promise I won't go from you now that you're awake." 

He nods because he feels like words will fail him, he stands up and pulls her up in his arms. He doesn't feel like he's ready to face the next step without her. He walks toward Kiyoomi without looking at anyone else. 

When he's close enough he looks up and then back to Yua who is staring at Kiyoomi in awe. "Wow," she says "You're very pretty" Sakusa looks completely stunned by the compliment, he looks at Atsumu but he's not able to look back. 

"Thank you?" Kiyoomi replies unsure.

Atsumu remains quiet, not able to say anything but for Yua, he gathers the courage. "S-she's" His voice breaks so he clears his parched throat and tries again. "This is Yua" He finally tells him. His first words to Kiyoomi and this is all he can manage. 

He looks up at Yua in his arms "Yua, this is Omi-omi" He says to the little girl and the way her eyes shine while her smile blooms makes everything worth it. 

"Omi-san, the fairy!" She exclaims with her attention all directed to the other person who is rendered silent by his shock. He must be confused with being associated with a fairy. "You were right, he really is pretty Atsumu -san" 

As if he had gone back in time and just realized his crush for Kiyoomi he blushes completely red to the point even Yua points it out. But Kiyoomi smiles at him gently almost like that comment had relieved all his worries. 

"Hello, Yua, I'm Sakusa Kiyoomi, it's very nice to meet you," Kiyoomi says in a gentle manner and gosh Atsumu is so grateful because he doesn't know if he'll be able to tolerate anything else. Kiyoomi stares at him with a look he can only describe as longing and says "Atsumu, I'm so glad you're back" 

Atsumu doesn't know what to say so he just nods and bites his lip, he's too caught up with everything happening at once. "You're okay now and we'll take our time. it'll get better, we'll try, together, yeah?" He asks and again Atsumu only nods but now he has tears running down his face. 

He can't touch Kiyoomi, he knows. The idea is unpleasant and repulsive to him, he needs time, he needs to get better to be comfortable with others again. But, he's missed him so much, he wants to hug him and cry into his shoulder. 

He wants to let go of his pain but he's got too much going on for now. Kiyoomi will need to be patient. 

\------

Kiyoomi _is_ patient, he takes everything in minimal steps, never asking too much, never talking too much, never staring too much. He makes sure to find all of Atsumu's boundaries and works around them. 

The doctor had already warned him that Atsumu would maybe avoid him and that statement had been true in the beginning. However, the doctor also informs him that it's wise that he lets Astumu know he won't leave. 

He does and he also makes an active effort to get Atsumu to acknowledge him. It's hard with the constant rejection and plain fear in Atsumu's expression but at some point, his boyfriend manages to look him in the eye. 

"Hi" He had said because the look in Atsumu's eyes that day made him believe he had finally reached through to him. 

"Hello" Atsumu's cheeks were a little red and Kiyoomi couldn't help but smile knowing that this was the first step to recovery. 

Yua is a great help as her presence alone eases Atsumu but still it isn't enough. When Atsumu's family came to visit he was hesitant and freaked out when their hands bumped into the wrong spot. Sakusa learns that Atsumu is terrified of his back being touched. 

But Atsumu lets his family close eventually and they all spend too many days preventing themselves from crying. Osamu hadn't known what to say when he finally saw his brother awake. 

Kiyoomi who had seen how horrible Osamu had taken everything could practically feel his relief. Initially, Osamu had nearly wanted to kill him as he blamed everything on Kiyoomi, and to be fair even he felt that way about himself. How could he have let Atsumu go alone? 

Still, he doesn't let himself linger on such thoughts and focuses only on Atsumu's recovery. 

When Atsumu is finally discharged he goes back to his parent's place and stays there for the months that come along with the little girl Yua. 

Kiyoomi went to visit every day and thankfully the Miya's no longer held a grudge against him. However, he doesn't think he'll ever be able to move on when he accidentally sees all the scars littering Atsumu's body. 

He doesn't want to know what happened but he's got a good idea, still, he looks away from the image of what Atsumu has been through. 

What surprises him the most is this little girl Yua, he doesn't understand anything about their relationship. All he knows is that to Atsumu the girl is his lifeline. A doctor had informed him that it might be a psychological thing where amidst his trauma Atsumu found solace in Yua. He comes to understand that Atsumu needs her way more than he initially thought. 

It's not like Kiyoomi is bothered by her, in fact, he's rather grateful for her because when Atsumu is with her then his boyfriend manages to smile. It's not like Atsumu came back to them with no problems, he's heard from Osamu that he still has trouble sleeping. 

He's also seen Atsumu break down into a panicking mess who screamed at anyone coming close to him. Even the little girl Yua can't reach him those days, and they've learned to take her away from the room whenever Atsumu gets like that. 

Of course, Atsumu protests and shouts when they do but when he calms down he always thanks them. Atsumu had confessed to him later that he wasn't able to control his emotions and that he didn't want to make Yua a witness to it. 

However, things get better, _really better_ to the point that Atsumu is okay with touches and actually finds comfort in it. He seeks out hugs from his mother who is always ready to have her too large son in her arms. He leans on Osamu when they're watching stuff and even accepts Kiyoomi who slowly lets Atsumu get used to him. 

He never puts too much force into his touches and tries to be as gentle as possible to relieve Atsumu of his anxiety. It works and eventually, he's got Atsumu underneath his own arm cuddled up to him with a blanket surrounding them both. 

It takes time for this development but Kiyoomi is over the moon happy when he realizes how far they've gotten. He's also grown a relationship with the oddball of optimism called Yua. She's intelligent for a kid even if she doesn't show it as much. 

She's always helping around the house and Kiyoomi learns from her that Atsumu likes to get his head patted. They grow a childish rivalry about who Atsumu loves more, it's weird because Kiyoomi has never gotten along with kids but she's different. 

He likes how she's careful with her words and each of her actions are planned to prevent causing a ruckus around the house. She's creative with her games and is completely fine with playing on her own with the teddy bear she calls 'Omi-san' for some reason. 

He's seen Atsumu watch her with the goofiest smile and the sight makes him warm all over. 

One day Atsumu gets visited by a man named Justin and a woman named Beth who throws herself at Atsumu the moment the door opens. Kiyoomi doesn't understand what they talk about just that they're in tears by the end of it. 

He later hears from Atsumu who tells him that Beth was a friend who helped him a lot during his time there. He also finds out that Justin was apparently a spy who was the reason they were found. In a moment of rare vulnerability, Atsumu shares a bit of what happened and tells him that he can move on now that they've found this girl called Narin. 

The little bit of information sounds horrible but Kiyoomi lets Atsumu share everything he's ready to say. He'll carry as much of the burden with him if that is what Atsumu wishes from him. 

It's hard but it gets better. 

Eventually, Atsumu moves in with him again and he's returned a bit to his cheerful self. With Atsumu's wish they adopt Yua but Atsumu is the one with full custody. To be honest, Kiyoomi wasn't sure about getting a kid because they weren't married yet so instead he chooses to buy a ring and put it around Atsumu's finger. 

They get married a while later and soon they're all a part of the Miya family. Yua is excited about the news and before they know it Yua is saying papa and dad every chance she gets. It's as if she's been waiting to get permission to use that word for as long as she can remember. 

Atsumu is happy and that's all Kiyoomi can ask. So when he sees the two of them building a fort in their living room Yua with her purple hair and Atsumu laughing wholeheartedly he knows he loves them a lot. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, I hate rape and stuff so I tried to leave details out as much as possible. The focus of this is all on Yua and Atsumu's relationship.  
> I got this idea because I wanted to see Atsumu build a relationship with a child when he's having a difficult time.  
> I'm sorry gosh. This is trash.


End file.
